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A Toolkit of Stopping Techniques
A Humorous Look at Inline Skate Stopping Methods
This article is a humorous parody of inline skate stopping methods.
Some of the stopping techniques in this article are serious
but many of them are just plain silly, Especially toward the end of the list.
Do not try those stopping methods yourself because they are intended
to be a joke.
A TOOLKIT OF STOPPING TECHNIQUES
Think of having a tool-box of stopping skills. Every situation is different and may
require a special stopping method! I know of people who can go on
forever listing ways to stop. I'll list a few, from most common or most
important to least common or "special." Learn the top ones first:
-
Heel Stop:
Bend knees, scissor skates, lift toe.
-
T-Drag or L-Drag:
Drag a skate behind you.
-
Turn Stop:
Toes out, hug a huge cone.
-
Step Stop:
Go slow, step in front.
-
Ugly Speed Skater (or Horsey) Stop:
Toes in, alternate legs...
-
Grass Stop:
Scissor glide into the grass.
-
Toe-Wheel Stop:
Like a T-Drag but just drag your toe-wheel.
People who sell wheels like it when you do this one.
-
Slalom Stop:
Do successive, deep parallel turns until you slow enough to
stop. requires a pretty wide area.
-
Snowplow Stop:
Apply outward and downward pressure to both heels
so they smear or skid VERY slightly.
-
Swizzle Stop:
As your legs come together, press forward.
-
Heel Stop 2:
Do a heel stop while up on your left toe wheel.
-
Lunge Stop:
Bend one knee WAY down, turn toward that knee.
-
Reverse Power Slide:
Hockey stop with 90% of weight on non-sliding
skate.
-
Full Power Slide:
Do the above after a full 180 twist.
-
Porn Star Stop:
Like a T-Drag but your skidding skate is in front!
-
Wheel Jam Stop:
Stop your left heel wheel by stepping on it with your right
middle skate-wheels! Pete P. does this one!
-
Knee Stop:
Do a deep lunge and drag one knee-pad and toe on the
ground!
-
Parallel Leap Stop:
Jump high, turn 90 degrees in the air, land hard while
pushing back the way you came.
-
Real Hockey Stop:
Using rock-hard plastic wheels, find a gritty or sandy
spot and slide sideways.
-
Spin Stop:
Like a turn stop but you go into a two-toe-wheel spin at the
end.
-
Tree or Pole Stop:
Skate past a pole, grab it as you go by with one
outstretched arm, orbit a few times!
-
Doggy Style Stop:
Fall on your wrist guards and knee-pads. Slide.
-
Butt Stop:
Fall on your butt. Slide to a stop. Whine.
-
Tackle Stop:
Skate into and hug any non-police officer.
-
Spandex Stop:
Get lycra caught on a thorn as you skate by a plant. As
lycra stretches you will slow down. Beware of backlash into thorn bush.
-
Radiation Stop:
Emit all of your kinetic energy in the form of photons.
You will glow as you stop if you do it right.
-
Trip Stop:
Hit a rock that stops your gliding skate cold.
-
Helmet Stop:
Rely on the energy absorbtion characteristics of a foam
bicycle helmet. Aim at something rigid with your head down. Apply
cervical collar.
-
Road Rash Stop:
Wear a helmet but no pads. As you fall, roll and slide
randomly for full coverage.
-
Parked Car Stop:
Self explanatory. Pick a cheap car.
-
Cliff Stop:
Don't worry, the fall will probably kill you before you actually
stop.
I could go on forever. There are as many ways to stop as there are
people. Invent your own!
DISCLAIMER FROM THE AUTHOR: Some of the above stopping methods are silly!
"It's a joke, son!"
Don't attempt them or you may get hurt or die!
Take a lesson
from a IISA/ICP-certified instructor.
Find one at
http://www.iisa.org.
FROM SKATELOG EDITOR KATHIE FRY:
Here is one skater's response to the above tips...
"You know you're a real skater if you've actually used most of these!
While I've never used the "Spandex Stop", I have used the
"Dangling
Wallet Chain Stop", an ingenious method I came up with which utilized
my wallet chain and a protruding bike-rack end. Right up there on my
Top 5 most embarassing crashes. The worst part is, I wasn't even
sliding the rack at the time, I just skated a little too close."
Can you think of any more stops, serious or not-so-serious?
Share them by posting a message in the
SkateLog Forum at AskAboutSkating.com.
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How To Skate and How To Stop
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